Realizations

Another missed opportunity down the drain, My therapist suggested a possible career change free of charge. I like the fool that I can be, waited until after the close date. Admittedly I have been dealing with this whole shingles debacle. My hands still work though, bah oh well cest la vie, kay sera as they say. Let’s just say that this has not been my finest week. I have been near paralyzed by gripping fear that my waist, butt, arms, thighs and stomach, have been secretly sneaking ding dongs, while I sleep. Only to realize as I put my jeans on this morning that I have maybe, possibly, that my restricting is getting out of hand. This realization was fleeting though, because almost as instantaneously that sweet sweet voice told me “That feels good doesn’t it. Putting on your pants and having to roll them. I told you that food was poison”. Damn her, but alas she is right. So, the war continues. I will continue to restrict and suppress my intuitive self (ha, yeah right), okay, the intuitive self I was trying to foster. In the hopes that this time with help from Ana I might be able to find the identity that I lack.