2/01/2012

nothing

Okay so today is not a good day. I can feel my anger and emotions bubbling, boiling inside of me. I have horrible anger. It seems to be a default emotion. I hate hate being trapped without some kind of outlet. I am e.d. triggered, and feeling horribly full, fat with negativity. How is it possible that a quiet week has turned into feeling bitter and rage filled. I will tell you how. Too much time to remember how much I hate myself. How much I wish I could disappear. How much being me bothers me. I do not want to become my grandmother and my mother. I hate that I come from a family of complete and utter emotional imbeciles. I hate just sitting in one spot day after day. I am afraid of becoming old of losing my mind. I wish that I could run.