2/23/2012

TOO....

When I was in elementary school. I remember learning the grammatical differences , of the words two, too, and to. Ever since I struggled with my pencil on that cheap schoolhouse paper. (you know the kind that rips when you try to erase it.) I have been plagued by the word too. We all know that when using too in a sentence. It means more, bigger, and more than one. (Okay, I know that there are other instances for it and all.) This is the form I am talking about. Whenever I think about learning what it meant, and how it is used, I have images of my third grade teacher drawing on the black board. Two over sized OOs, I hear her say" always use two fat Os because this word means too much" I can see this day so clearly in my head, which for me is a big deal because there is so much that I can't remember from this time. Yes I am rambling, get over it.  I remember thinking in my head "Oh, wow now I get it." I know. I know. Get what? you ask. Well I will tell you. My whole life has been. "Clar, you're being too loud." "Sweetie, you're laughing too much." "Riss, you're eating too much."  "Clarissa, you're too fat." "You breathe too loud" We all know that junior high is hell.  Every day I was too something. I was too dirty, too loud, too dramatic, too big,  too whiny, too, too, too... On and on until I am cowed in a corner, silent.  
      Here is the thing, my personality is all of those things. I am loud, I am hungry, I am nosey, I am definitely whiny at times.  Yet here I am in my thirties, and all someone has to say is that phrase. You're too... I wish I knew how to stop being. Too